There is Nothing like Sun for Solitude

There is Nothing like Sun for Solitude (July 26th, 2008)

yesterday was gray and indistinguishable
but soft
as a memory of childhood

a narcotic world
experienced without edges
or direction

today the sun is my favorite again, lying with me on the dock where I crush
blackberry seeds in the hollows of my teeth
and no one is in sight

hot wood,
fishing line, shampoo bottles, horse flies on juice cups, spinners
and hooks, slapstick weeds, wet dogs

eavesdropping is easy across the lake; sundropping too
slime trail of light I send a water bug to follow it
with my thoughts

sprays of moths at night
stars are afraid only of cities, but I am afraid of them and what they mean
neon motel signs flashing vacancy

Post Thanksgiving

Back from Thanksgiving in Chicago, where there was fun, food, and family members for all. My little sister came with us for the first time in years, and she and my husband and I spent much of our spare time playing Rock Band at my cousin’s house. Extremely entertaining.

I had a rather pleasant surprise the day before we left for Chicago, but I don’t want to write about it yet because I’m not sure how things will work out and I don’t want to jinx anything. I should find out about it soon, however.

My newest obsession (and I feel somewhat ashamed of this) is the HBO series True Blood. Yes, it’s a vampire show. But it’s very well done, so long as you can tolerate a hefty dose of sex and gore (I enjoy both), and there is plenty of eye candy. Plus even if you’re not particularly into it, every episode ends with a huge cliffhanger, so you’re practically forced to watch it anyway.

My cat sounds like Chewbacca right now. The End.

DPN Love

I feel I need to express my love for double-pointed needles. I understand they may look intimidating, especially when sticking every which way out of one’s knitting, but they’re a piece of cake once you get the hand of them, and so much more versatile than circular needles (unless you know fancy stuff). I love that I can just use DPNs instead of also buying circular needles for hats. I love that I can wrap rubber bands around the ends and use them as straight needles. I love finding that extra one lying around in the most unexpected places like a happy, sharp little knitting surprise. Or they could be used as cable needles. Or for kabobs.

SADdened

It’s that time of year here in good ol’ Minnesota. The days are nearing their shortest, the weather is getting cooler, and my work schedule is such that the sun has barely risen when I leave in the morning and is just setting when I walk out the door of my office (building, I mean, I don’t have an office). To add to that, our neighbor suggested to us today that we put plastic over our windows because our apartment building gets unbearably cold in the winter (we just moved in this past summer). Perfect.

To cheer myself up, I’ve begun the practice of throwing off my productivity stats by taking a walk around the building in the afternoon. I worry that taking an extra ten minute break will hurt my performance, but I can’t bear to be cooped up all day without once seeing the sun. I need my vitamin D, and I think that getting out into the cool air for awhile and clearing my head allows me to focus better afterwards.

Keeping a stash of favorite teas at work is another great comfort, and the best way to warm up ever.

One other thing I’ve been thinking about doing to make being inside more bearable is putting up cubicle “wallpaper,” i.e. hanging fabric panels in my workspace, which is more like a half-cubicle. I’m hoping to find a sufficiently cheery and sufficiently inexpensive yellow fabric, as well as a sneaky way of measuring my cubicle walls so that nobody asks me what the hell I’m doing.

The great thing is, it’s almost Thanksgiving, which is one of my favorite holidays. I am off Wednesday through Friday to Chicago to spend time with family. And after Thanksgiving, it will be almost Christmas, which is another one of my favorite holidays. Go figure.

Starfish

Starfish

oh father mine cocooning
treading carefully, arming, disarming
your fingers never stop moving around your life’s misfortunes
a starfish in boiling water

you can shower every morning in my sympathy
still your roughened skin will snag on everything
your sun won’t stay in the sky for long
and the only horizon is mine

 

Independence Jim

Independence Jim    (July 4th, 2008)

My uncle Jim keeps fireworks under his mattress.
“This is the last one of these,” he says every time we light one off,
“I used to have a hundred of these.”

We float above his flashbang grief trying to understand and he
lights an anise cigar over a bag of explosives and we
are cautiously celebratory and far away.

Bottle rockets from pop cans
flares from plug-your-ears guns
bombs from the board and high flyers from fingertips
and whistlers.

He asks me about my sister
the serious and unanswerable questions
keeps cutting me off
he is hurt and I am trying to make up for things.

A bat almost hits
winging circles around neighbors’ burl
oaks
eating hot firework
ashes.

We grace a bridge over train tracks
watch the fireworks a hundred trees away.
Trains are brighter but we yelled
and the conductor turned out his light for us.
Awash in swoosh-sound of cars passing under
the force of it shock wave hair blown back like the M-150 we lit.

At home we watch the History Channel they are doing head transplants on monkeys.
Jim offers me a bowl of ice cream and together we watch blood froth out
the doctor wipes it up calmly
and continues.
When our ice cream starts to taste like iron we say goodnight.

 

Pictorial Randomosity

This is my cat, Pandora. I think she has a kitty cold right now. She can’t stop sneezing!

And this is my husband’s cat, Bob. He’s sleeping curled up on my feet right now.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me thinking how much more likely I’d be to get the job if I wore this to the interview!  Thanks, InStyle!

Receptions for Surprise Weddings

Last night was the reception for the surprise wedding my brother-in-law and his fiancee had in August. It was extra fun. It was laid back, at a bar, with good food and homemade cake (made by the bride herself). Allison also does custom cakes–you can check her out at CakesbyAllison.org.

 

The happy couple: Noah and Allison

Noah being very adamant about something.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Flash wars–we lost this one.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Danny (little brother-in-law)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Noah (big brother-in-law/groom)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sam (my husband)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Me and Hubz

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Shots. Actually, the one and only shot of the evening.

 

 

 

 

 

 

We also finally got the dining table I’d been coveting. It belonged to my aunt, and she promised I could have it, but our apartment at the time was too small. By the time we moved into a bigger place, the table had found a semi-permanent home in my mother’s basement. With my little bro-in-law’s help, we took it off her hands.

Today we spend the day with my in-laws, winding down from all the hubbub from last night. My mother-in-law made us a nice hot breakfast, and while the boys were watching football, we continued with my sewing lessons. I made a pillow! Using the black-and-white jungle cat fabric and polyester fill. She also taught me how to hand sew a whip stitch, and iron. I can’t remember ever using an iron before. Is that unusual? I’m quite proud of my pillow.

Next time? Perhaps place mats.

Sewing Lessons/InStyle goes DIY

My sweet mother-in-law was kind enough to teach me how to use her sewing machine today. It’s a 30+ year old Kenmore–no frills–but it works just fine. I learned how to thread it, experimented with different stitches, learned how to sew straight (sort of), make corners, and reverse. It’s the sort of thing I could pick up easily if I had a sewing machine to practice with. Christmas present, anyone?

Now that I am vaguely aware of the basics of sewing, I’ve decided my first project will be cushions for our dining room chairs. These will be made from fabrics found in my mother-in-law’s basement closet. Prints include black-and-white jungle cats (can’t tell if they’re supposed to be tigers or leopards), dolphins at play, and poinsettias.

I’m very nervous about machine sewing, because I don’t feel in control yet, and it’s not so easy to fix mistakes. This is what I like about knitting–all you have to do is give a little tug et voila! Fresh start.

I stopped at my mom’s house after my first sewing lesson and was surprised to find, in her September issue of InStyle, a DIY guide to some of the fashion trends they were pushing (hair bows, studded headbands, etc.). Although this probably reflects consumers’ desire to save money rather than an interest in DIY crafting, I thought it was sort of  cool. Coolness tempered by another article that implies women won’t be taken seriously unless they keep a flat iron at their desk.

Day at the Bench

Day at the Bench

tell me something
a crow flaps darkly over gleaming parking lot cars
further down a rabbit shows his hiding places
a squirrel and his accomplice, Tail, raid an unsuspecting front porch

at the park, a bench
bereft
a place made for me in a moment of tulip leaves and wind
swift movement of leaves
leaf hypnosis

a ruined reverie
this one by the hack king of a flesh palace
too near my bubble of bench
can I get a disease from that sort of distraction?

children run sweet
past pinecone families at the field’s edge
melancholy drills into my back
I don’t have a book

and I don’t have a daughter
the way home cat refused to be my guide